"We admitted we were ignoring the disordered crap that was right in our faces and it was making us crazy".
~: Anonymous
Each of us has in our possession our own truths. By sharing these truths we open ourselves up to intimacy and healing, with each other and ourselves. But we still neglect them, fearing judgement, conflict, or worse, loss. We hope we can avoid "having to the tell truth" by romancing half-truths and flirting with deception.
"I can't tell the truth- I don't want to hurt her feelings", or" If I am honest with her, she'll know I'm not walking my talk". More often than not "she" senses your feelings or knows you're hiding something anyway. This can only mean that your one little lie breeds more lies and your truth is lost in the questions.
Truth telling used to be so agonizing for me. Even if I knew the truth inside, telling it made it real. Writing makes it real too. So I used to lie to myself to evade it. Lying to yourself creates layer after layer, thoroughly encrusting you, making it difficult to even hear the truth.
I also used to harbor this insane idea that if I omitted truth telling, the person would simply forget or maybe that I would forget. Even if it is badly received, or we get the response we didn't want (but knew we were going get), or just plain weird, just saying your truth can make you power-full and free.
One of my therapists/mentors used to tell me that the outcome of truth telling is not the point because we cannot adjust our reality and truth to accommodate how another person will respond or react to our truth telling.
As Creative Spirits, if we live in truth, we will be more intimate with our actual experiences and, closer to more of who we are at our most basic level and open to the joy that exists all around us. Truth actually allows us to be truly seen and revealed. It is our ally because it hurts and heals: it hurts when we fight and fear it; it heals when we let it have a voice. The truth, when we allow it to take up residence in our lives, puts its clothes in our pockets and changes how we view the world.
I send you a bag of Oreo cookies and a Mason jar of ice-cold milk, the love and adoration of a loving truth teller, and a flashlight to investigate the darkness.
