krishanna|dot|com

Pssssssst...I've Become An Evangelist

I've been keeping a secret from most of you. I've only mentioned it in passing only a few times and discussed it only with Manthing, my mother and a few other people who needed to know.

Just for the record, there isn't a sex tape or a baby on the way and I haven't decided to move away, get married, or  close my blog. I have not auditioned for "Moment of Truth" and I won't be appearing on "Dr. Phil" or "Jerry Springer" anytime in the future.

But.

After two years of wending my way through governmental bureaucratic red tape with the help of some unusual and extraordinary DRS staff people; sitting through stiff and pointless interviews with companies looking for clones and perky college graduates; a few unsuccessful attempts to hammer my round self into square, 9 to 5 holes against my better judgment;  and two years bouncing between hope and discouragement, I was introduced to someone bright, smart and savvy enough to hire me to do what I do best: write, be creative and help others connect with each other.

So it is with great pride and excitement that I announce beginning June 9th, I'll have a nice, round, shiny, never-before-used new evangelical position to look forward to.  Don't rub your eyes. You read it right. Ee-van-gel-ick-cal.

My title proper is Community Evangelist and in a nutshell I'll be responsible for content development, editorial supervision, and reaching out to new people for a new online community called Active Gray Matter. Puts a new spin on evangelical pursuits! Yay! Go me!

I'll be able to be creative, meet new people and do what I love while maintaining my vaguely mysterious and reclusive lifestyle.

I'll be able to work most days from home, in my pajamas (if I want to)- just like Hef but without the girlfriends, the mansion and the staff.

I'll be able to continue writing and creating art.

And I'll be able to continue on at the Gallery.

Active Gray Matter is a community designed by and for people with disabling or chronic conditions. More than just another online social networking site, community members will be able to connect with people who share a passion for economic independence through self-employment or career development. Community members have access to Active Gray Matter's network of professionals and mentors. Though still in its trial period, Active Gray Matter will officially launch next month. If you want to check things out ahead of time, just click on the link and have a look around.

I am so excited about the opportunity to join and be a part of this new and innovative community and looking forward to the new challenges and growth ahead.

More Pagan 12 Steps

For those you who have been around awhile, know that I am a recovered drunk and dope fiend (07.05.1987). Yes. RECOVERED. It means I am no longer hounded by the compulsion to pickle my liver and jam white powder up my nose or in my arm.

Anyway, I was doing some research on a totally unrelated subject and found another variation on the 12 Steps. Damn, if these had been around when I was sobering up, I may gone a few months without my panties twisted in a knot over stupid shit. Then again... probably not. Heh.

A Pagan 12 Step Program by Anodea Judith

1. Admitted we had a problem and that we were squandering our power.

2. Came to see how the power within and without had been misaligned and made  a decision to reconnect them, seeing them as One.         

3. Through sharing and feedback from others, took an intelligent look at our behavior, examining our relationship to family patterns and dysfunctional culture.         

4. Made myself ready and willing to let go of old patterns.
         
5. Learned to ask for help.
         
6. Made a list of harm done, and carried out rectification and balancing  wherever possible.
         
7. Made the commitment to continue the process of recovery, knowing  that change takes time.
         
8. Pursued the strengthening of our connection with the web of life through appropriate activity and spiritual practice.

9. Having experienced a stabilized change from our awakening, we sought to help others along the path.
         
10. Examine my life story and my addiction (and codependency) in the  context of my role in a patriarchal, capitalistic system.

11. Use the events life brings as lessons for growth and accept my mistakes as part of my humanness.
         
12. Grow in our awareness that we are sacred beings, interrelated with all living things and, when ready, take an active part in helping the planet become a better place for all including ourselves.

Source

Cool, huh?

Identity Crisis

This blog, like its owner, has been undergoing an identity crisis. Well, sort of.

Not long ago, I whined about my boring life. About the same time, give or take a week, I wrote about "being gloomy and  in a weird place" in an online women's spirituality discussion group I belong to. The feedback I received included some terrific suggestions. One insightful woman reminded me to quit worrying about the seeming lack of inspiration; that even the Goddess must rest and kickback. Another wise woman suggested that I needed some fire to get things moving. Neither one of them were wrong and I was impressed with their suggestions but this didn't feel like I needed to do anything   about it but sit with it and get comfortable with being uncomfortable for awhile.

After all I wasn't exactly unhappy, but I wasn't happy either. I wasn't exactly depressed but I wasn't not depressed either. I didn't find much encouraging around me but I wasn't completely discouraged with everything. I was not quiet and watchful because something was wrong because clearly nothing beyond the daily mild annoyances and frustrations with life was happening. I was the same and yet I was different. It was a great puzzle to me.

My thoughts kept drifting back to a a strange thing that happened just as Winter was drawing to a close and Spring was just on the horizon. I was talking online with fellow list member about the Morrigan when I was startled by something thudding against my front door... HARD. It was so loud, it made Manthing emerge from his computer room and check things out.  There was nothing outside. There was no wind. There were no feral neighborhood cats about to swat at the moths who were congregating at the porch light. There was not even the hint of anything unordinary outside our front door.

The next morning as I opened the door to get on the sCare van to go to the gallery, 3 of the biggest crows I have ever seen were hanging out in my front yard. For the record, crows just don't hang out in my neighborhood, though I'd like them to. Crows were a regular  as I was growing up and I talked to them often. Here, we've got plenty of hawks, buzzards, a few owls, blue jays, robins, mourning doves, a pair of cardinals, sparrows, chickadees and the occasional hummingbird but never crows. The crows sort of looked at me, cawed and then flew away as I approached the walkway leading to the driveway as if to say, "Hey, dolt- didja get it yet?"

On one of the first warm spring days we had, I was puttering around the house when I became aware of a lot of bird noise outside and my small pride of cats were all at the window, pulling the slats of the blinds  down so they could see what was going on. When I opened the door, the magnolia tree that stands like a sentinel in front of house, the lawn and the chain link fence that dives our property from our neighbor's was littered with a flock small to medium sized black birds, making a racket. I've not been able to figure out what kind of birds they were because they flew off when I opened the door to get a closer look.

When I mentioned these events to Manthing, he cocked an eyebrow and told me he didn't think it was anything more than the arrival of Spring. Because I had no better answers or explanations, I noted the events, filed them away, and kept putting one foot in front of the other.

So, as I was looking through my photos for a new image for this blog, I ran across the one above. It was taken at my mother's apartment in California. I was visited awakened by this crow cawing at me incessantly every morning. It cawed at me and I answered it. I was able to snap the photo on my last morning there. The photo inspired me and as I was working on the new design, I realized the pieces have begun to fit better and I have not been happier or more comfortable with a design for krishanna [dot] com in a very long time.

What do you think?

:: to be continued ::